Evolving Your Feminine Persona
No two journeys are the same, but no journey is unique. That’s a fact I’ve learnt from many discussions within our diverse community in person and through chat lines and forums. There are some common themes especially around the early stages. The drawing on of mothers, sisters, aunts etc. intimate apparel and the excitement and confusion this caused is fairly ubiquitous. Our sexuality is pretty diverse too.
Many start out strictly heterosexual, but over time such a classification becomes unnecessary and limiting to where the journey might naturally lead one. For some, maybe many, the embrace of femininity causes one to ponder adding the exploration of their female side sexually i.e. making love as a woman. Perhaps the first tentative step is dressed but with a CIS girl. That is exciting but only to a point because while the head is in a feminine space, physically it’s still pretty much a male approach to lovemaking. For some the urge to experience a nexus between being fully dressed and having sex fully in female mode means consideration of anal play with the bottom acting as a surrogate for a pussy. While this works well at a psychological level (the offering of yourself to be penetrated often mimics female sex positions) it is also magic physically because the male g spot (more accurately p spot or prostate) provides an orgasm every bit as intense as a female g spot release and this is best accessed via the penetration of a cock (or finger, toy, strapon etc).
Not all will wish to go there but for those who do and can ‘learn’ to focus the pleasure in this area of the anatomy the holy grail of ejaculation from penetration alone awaits. A few considerations then arise.
Firstly, do you cleanse (or as the French might say douche) beforehand which means an enema? To be fair I don’t always but the best sex will always be after cleaning yourself because the final withdrawal is less embarrassing if the condom is clear and not stained, although discreet removal into a tissue usually overcomes this. The question arises which method of enema to use. There are a range of options which I will review here. There are chemical enemas which are generally in a sachet or plastic container of some sort that you squirt inside yourself. These are more for a quick cleansing before some xrays etc and not recommended. Otherwise known as fleet enemas they make you go through chemical irritation and it takes a while for the irritation to wear off. You don’t want this spoiling your magic moment!
Then there are the full-on enemas designed to be used in a hospital or bathroom setting. These are generally gravity fed or can be used as an attachment to your shower head. I would always caution the latter as you have less control over volume, temperature and force. The most pleasant is an enema involving the old-fashioned bag and tubing. You can lube yourself (more on lubes later) insert the nozzle and then unclip the valve on the hosing and sit or lie back as the water slowly fills you up. Positioned right this flow can stream directly onto your prostate and this can range from pleasurable to very pleasurable to explosive. For others there will just be the gradual distending of the tummy and point at which you wish to expel. Move to the toilet and void. It may take a couple of wash outs to get you clear and you also need to make sure the last of the water has been expelled to avoid an accident later but generally it’s pretty straightforward. Sue at heels for Gurls stocks the Deluge Deluxe for a reasonable price ($150)
A useful halfway house between the shower and bag is the Ergoflo Pro which fits over the shower head creating a reservoir through which the water flows. It’s really easy to set up. I would recommend this for those wanting a more mainstream douche. They are easy to get hold of too. Sue at Heels for Gurls has them in stock.
Probably my favourite approach, which also lends itself to having less time on your hands is to use a small bulb enema where the bulb is filled with water and it fits on the end of the nozzle. It’s merely a case of filling the bulb inserting it and clean yourself. It has a one-way valve so you avoid any messy backflow. I recommend the Clean Stream from Heels for Gurls. Its pretty compact and you will feel fresh and clean for your big day!
So now you are rearing to go so to speak! Thought now turns to lube. Don’t be trapped into thinking any old lube will do there are lots of considerations and lube for vaginas while adequate isn’t as good as product designed for the slightly different anatomy of the anal passage believe me!
There are some rough rules of thumb that should always be kept in mind.
Silicone is probably best for beginners given it stays slippery the longest but not compatible with silicone-based toys (yes contradictory know);
Oil-based lubes are so gorgeous and slippery helping to receive but cannot be used with condoms.
Water-based lubes are safe with most toys and latex condoms but dry out quicker meaning frequent re-application.
First consideration is whether you are alone or with someone else. If you are going to explore anal play on your own then there is no better feeling than using Boy Butter. As the name says on the tin, it feels like butter. The beauty of Boy Butter is it lasts as long as silicone-based products but washes off with water. It is totally edible too. While it’s safe for toys it is NOT for use with a condom. Shame because otherwise it’s great.
Failing that there is Boy Butter H2O. While not quite as good as Boy Butter Original is not far off. It’s safe for use with a range of toys rubber glass and silicone and it can be used with latex condoms. Definitely should be on your shopping list. Sue stocks both Original and H2O and can discretely ship to you are a reasonable price.
Anal play has long been associated with Swiss Navy and they have a range to suit. I have used their Premium Anal Lubricant which is so silky and smooth, but silicone based so, while it will last a long time, it’s not for use with silicone-based toys and is harder to clean up.
Pjurs Analyze Me Silicon Lube is great. It’s silicon-based meaning there’s lot of slipperiness to feel yourself being gently eased into and its condom safe. Better still it’s infused with jojoba oil which is a natural relaxant but doesn’t numb so could be your ‘go to’ choice for opening night!
Gun Oil should also feature on your list. Once again silicone based it has the added ingredient of vitamin E and aloe vera which help protect the skin and helps heal micro tears. It’s expensive but why skimp on your first time?
Pepee pronounced pehpeh is the number one selling lube in Japan and it’s readily available in Aus. They have an extensive range which includes Backdoor. It is water based but a bit thicker and gloopier than other brands so is good for use with toys and condoms. If you are going to push a few boundaries this would probably be your water-based lube of choice for fisting…ouch!
To densensitize or not? The medical advice here is generally no. While you might get a numbing, or more likely a cooling effect, you want to be vigilant to what your body is telling you. Lying back and receiving is an over-simplification of what happens when two male anatomies engage in sex. Angles are important and you will find out which works best for you through a bit of trial and error. How it feels is a key part of this so you don’t want to dull the senses to this.
Finally, just enjoy. This can become an amazing avenue of pleasure for you that will be hard to surpass. The actual ‘fitting’ of the anatomy is easily as natural as hetero and with the confidence of being fresh and clean with enough lube to enable you to safely fulfil your female sexual persona, the next stage of your evolution will become just another natural step on your journey.
Posted By Sue on 1st May 2019
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